My first love was Misty from Pokémon. Those legs, that sass, she was absolutely perfect. No one else could ever compare. When I played the games, I’d hang around her gym and pretend that we were on a date. I built my team to be...

yourfaceyourporn.mov My wife tells me she’s cheating on me about halfway through dinner. I work my way through the potatoes, the beans, and most of the meat before replying. “Who?” “That doesn’t matter.” It very much does matter, I think. I imagine a 6’4, muscular, chiseled Greek God of a man...

From the moment she learned to walk, little Myrtle dreamed of becoming a tap dancer. She would totter through the house, her chubby bare feet slapping arrhythmically on the hardwood, her squeaky voice calling out “Ta-ta-ta-ta-ta!” like tap shoes on a stage. When her second-grade teacher...

My name is Mortimer Lipschitz. I know the name itself suggests otherwise, but I shit you not. That's really my name. I used to wish it wasn't. On all that's holy, I wished it wasn't. But I suppose that the name was never really the...

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