“Breaker one-nine, breaker one-nine.”  BOOLEEP. Nothing. “Breaker one-nine.  Anyone copy?”  BOOLEEP. Glen took a swipe at my hand as I attempted to key up the base station radio mic once more. “Give it up,”  he belched.  “You lost another one, man.”  He crumpled his empty can of MGD onto...

My wife and I were house hunting. We’d been saving for years to get the down payment together. A lot of struggling and cutting corners were finally going to pay off. We had visited five houses in various neighborhoods, trying to find the right fit...

Is Doctor Disrespect one of your heroes? I know he was one of mine. Yes, was. I guess I still respect the guy. But he went down one motherfucker of a rabbit hole and dragged me down with him. I’m seventeen and I wash windows. That’s why...

yourfaceyourporn.mov My wife tells me she’s cheating on me about halfway through dinner. I work my way through the potatoes, the beans, and most of the meat before replying. “Who?” “That doesn’t matter.” It very much does matter, I think. I imagine a 6’4, muscular, chiseled Greek God of a man...

I had no idea there were so many debilitating phobias. There are those that are terrified of right angles, Mexican food, the letter R, the metric system, and even a miserable few that fear Wednesdays, becoming incapacitated every hump-day. There is even a phobia of...

An old man lived alone in a house by the ocean. Every morning as the sun rose, he walked down the forest path to the beach and enjoyed the salty air coming off the water. Every evening, he returned to the shore to watch the...

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